Wednesday, December 17, 2008

"Do you have that one with that guy who was in that movie last year?"

I had something very similar to that at work the other Um...yes? Sure, you can find it in, uh, the...drama section. Sure.

And somebody smashed a beer bottle right in front of our door. A full beer bottle. Come on now, we get tons of kids in and out every night. Bunch of savages in this town.

Anybody place those two movie snippets? That movie makes more sense every shift I work. All I'm missing now is "ooh, Top Gun!"


Friday, November 28, 2008

The Undefined

I was depending upon a Blogswap today to fill this post, but it is delayed. So I will talk about something else, an abstract thought that has been on my mind since reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenence.

In the modern world, science is said to have displaced religion to a large degree. This has led to a higher emphasis on classification, facts and definition. Creativity, abstraction, intuition, and undefined concepts are given a lower estimation of worth. The goal of science and knowledge is to attain facts, to figure out how the world works, to see how one subject relates to another in order to put them together as a group. But I maintain that this is unbalanced. You cannot explain the mechanics of everything. In the quest to know all, we've denied the idea that some concepts are ambigious and undefinable. There are things about our existence that we cannot figure out.

Motivation, the prompting to certain actions. This is mainly what I see as undefined. What makes us decide to practice certain things? Here's a short list of my undefined concepts.


What makes us prefer broccoli over cauliflower? What makes us love bossa nova and not jazz? What makes us believe in the Bible and not the Koran? Where does our intuition come from? Who can tell us what time really is? Why does a plant grow, and what makes it die? What makes us keep up a friendship with Bill and neglect Bob?

There are plenty of physical things that remain a mystery to me (crop circles, ghosts, etc.). But the undefined nature of the ideas above lingers in my mind. Sorry if this post is a bit high-flung or confusing. I've said before that everyday topics get boring for me.

If you have some undefined ideas, please share them with me. And if you didn't get anything from this post, here are a few sites to look at, to make up for the uncertain nature of my thoughts today.

Reid's post about his Ethics class
Advice on How to Be Creative by Hugh McLeod
and the London Pictures of Anna Aven

Saturday, October 25, 2008

When visiting family friends

This is a 2 parter.
part one:
we had gone to visit some family friends i was about 12 or 13 my sister about 7ish her and the other girl were playing in one of the rooms. my sister thought it would be funny to pull up her nighty and let rip unfortunatly she followed through at high velocity and pebble dashed the bookcase and surrounding floor.

part 2:

titled richard the turd.
this is the only time i have admitted this because at the time i was a lil embarrassed.
at the same weekend visiting i decided i needed to drop a load so off i went and sat and unloaded the biggest turd i have yet to do and see (approx 20" it was at the u-bend and half way up the side of the bowl). now with a turd of this size flushing was a problem it just wouldn't shift i also couldn't find the ceremonial bog brush to beat it so i decided to leave it and say nothing. the mpther of the family was the unfortunate person to find it and her words were "jesus christ who the hell left that behind its huge". i never admitted to it and the blame was placed upon her (now ex(not because of the turd)) husband even though he denied it. they then had to get the bog brush from the other loo and beat it away.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Slush from the chippy

Another mate of mine had been the chippy and bought a slush from there. After drinking he
rode home on his bike.

While riding home he shat his pants, but it was blue coloured. He assumed it was from the slush (which is a fair assumption to make) so instead of continuing home to get cleaned up he decided to go back to the chippy to show them what their slush had done!

Dirty bastard!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Imodium couldn't TOUCH it

About a month ago I got food poisoning from a dodgy curry. A couple of days later I couldn't go 20 minutes without having to run to the loo to shit watery jets into the loo. Coupled with farts this produces a somewhat "pebbledashed" effect.

I ended up playing a game of rugby for my team in the same week, despite being so ill I could hardly stand, couldn't stop shivering and was white as a sheet and weak as a kitten.

In the end I had to drive home (newcastle to newbury!!) stopping quite literally at EVERY services on the M1 to use the facilities. Eventually, after a week and a half of torture (and a severly shredded ring - I was wiping more blood than poo) I got antibiotics and got better.

Net result? Lost a stone in a week and a half.